The Big Ski Party

Tyler chose to take 2 friends skiing for his 8th birthday party this year. We figured this was much better than 10 kids at a fun center! So we loaded up the van bright and early Saturday morning and headed up the mountain. The weather was perfect, sunny, not too cold, but amazing snow- they had gotten 22 inches in the last week.

The boys were having so much fun. Smiles all around. We were going down one run, with lots of trees the boys love to go through, and had a little "miscommunication". I was in front, with Matt at the back, with boys sandwiched between us. This run has an area that can slow you down a bit, so Tyler and Matt were way behind the rest of us. We were waiting for them, when Matt calls me and figures out he went the wrong way, and would meet us at the lift eventually. We ski on, take a lift and do another run. We see Matt, and I say, "where's Tyler?" He smiles and laughs and says, "I don't have him, I thought you did." After a few minutes of realizing he wasn't joking, we realized he thought I had Tyler, and I thought he did. My mommy heart just about stopped! Fortunately he was waiting in the ski patrol office, petting a dog and watching TV. He then said this was the worst birthday ever and he gets a do-over!

After taking a lunch break, and telling him how cool he is that he made it to the lift but daddy didn't, making it a big deal how amazing he is, he was totally cool with it all! He even said it was pretty cool being lost. He said ," it's not like you were shot and dead, you just had to find me!" We spent the afternoon skiing the same run , over and over, and had 100% happy boys! Matt and our friend Jason went and took the snowcat up the mountain for a cool, powder run, and then met back up with us. So all 5 "boys" had a great day!

When I was putting Tyler to bed, he was smiling and said, "thanks mom, for the awesome birthday party! I had the best time ever. I love you!"

Be still my heart!

I am alive!

I have not posted in almost 1/2 a year. I joined Facebook and have used that as my forum for updating you all on the mundane, and sometimes interesting, facts of my life. I thought I would see if anyone even reads this anymore. I am guessing not, but you never know.

Life has been good, yet hectic. Jake turned 12 a month ago, and Tyler will be 8 in 2 weeks. Where does time go? My 1st nephew Kaedon was born September 24th, 2009. That was a true blessing. We have been home a little more this year, but are getting ready to head out for spring break. Matt calls it the "brady bunch vacation". We are road tripping with Matt's parents to the Grand Canyon, and then on to Arizona. It will be a good time.

I guess this is a test, to see if anyone checks this anymore. If not, it is my fault, as I never update. If so, I might try to start blogging a little more. Hope all is well!

One Year

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. I cannot believe it has been a year already. The reality is that life does go on after we lose someone, whether we like it or not. It has been a strange couple of days for me. My emotions were almost higher than they were a year ago. I think part of it is because a year ago there was a lot of "commotion" with him dying, planning a funeral, etc.. This year, there is nothing going on but memories and quiet time to think and reflect.

I miss him so much. Even though I know he is in "a better place", the selfish side of me doesn't care and wants him back here. Being practical, I realize this isn't going to happen, and I know he wouldn't choose it if he could. He was content with dying. He was at peace.

No parent is perfect, dad included. But I love him. I have my memories of him, and I can smile through the tears. We had a lot of good times, mixed in with the not-so-great times. I started praying right after he died that God would bring back to my memories the good times we had, so I could quit thinking about the last 2 years of his life. As always, God answers prayers.

So today I celebrate my dad. I woke up and watched the sunrise this morning, thankful for him, for what we had, for where he is now, for the memories, all the while sad and missing my dad. I love him and miss him, and will forever.

First Day of School is Here!!

Today the boys started the new school year. I think they were ready, and we all know I was. Jake is now a middle schooler, entering 6th grade. Tyler is in 2nd grade. They seemed to have a good day. They both like their teachers. They are both TIRED!! Here are some first day of school pictures for you! I cannot believe how big they are. Where did time go?

5 days and counting!!

The boys have had a great summer. And I have been the taxi service. But on Friday, we are packing up and heading out to go to the Lake of the Ozarks for a week! We always have a great time, and Matt and I are in dire need of escaping Colorado for a few days. Mark and Teri are going with us this year. The boys are flying to Kansas City on Thursday, and then the 4 adults will road trip it starting Friday. We are so excited to go. I almost feel like a kid again, just counting down days.

We had a great weekend. Matt and the boys camped Friday night. Saturday we had the UFC 100 fights. Sunday we worked in the backyard. We got the hot tub on the pad and got the fake stone almost done. The landscapers are supposed to start today. We'll see if they show up. I have a funny feeling!!

Happy 4th of July!!!

Hello! I know, it has been almost 5 months. You will notice that my last post was about Facebook. You guessed it, between being busy and knowing most people are on Facebook now, I have neglected the blog.

We are in full swing of summer. Both boys have been to nana and papa's. Jake has been to church camp, where he had an amazing time. We went to Elitch Gardens on Friday and had a day of rides and fun.  Tomorrow Jake starts his week of Jr. Zookeeper camp and Tyler starts his multi-sport camp. 2 weeks from today we wake up to our first full day of vacation, which we are so excited for. We are headed to the lake for a week for some relaxation with Matt's parents. Mark and Teri are going, too. 

I cannot believe how fast the summer is going. I hope you all had a great 4th. It rained all day here, so it was kind of a bummer, but we survived. I will post some new pictures on here. Enjoy your summer. Hope this finds you all well.

Facebook it is!

Okay, so my best friend Caydee has been trying to convince me to join Facebook. I have had other people also joining in to convince me. Another dear friend, Friday night, showed me how it all works, and I took the plunge. What was I thinking? 

I still have no idea what I am doing on Facebook. Still not sure how it all works. My last "issue" is that there isn't really space to be able to share my 3-4 paragraphs of feelings, thoughts, news, etc.. So while I have connected with several people from long, long ago, I think I will still need to keep my blog. Let's face it,  I have never been one short on words, so is it realistic to think that I can always keep my thoughts to a sentence or 2?

NEWS!!!!

I knew 2009 was going to be a better year than 2008. 2008 was rough and tiring.

Going to Mexico was a great way to start the first part of 2009 off!! We had an amazing time. The boys are finally at an age where we all had a wonderful time, and didn't have to deal with the things of small, toddler size children.

The news, as of yesterday, to make 2009 even better is that my brother Mark and his wife Teri found out they are pregnant!!!!! YEA!!!!!! This is something they have wanted so badly. If you remember, their first baby had a defect where the skull did not form properly, and did not survive. The due date for that baby was March 10th. So how sweet it is that one day later they find out they are still able to conceive. They are very cautious about their feelings with this pregnancy, and probably will be until they are told everything is fine. So please send your prayers up for a healthy pregnancy for Teri and the baby!

Cancun Here We Come!

We are leaving tomorrow morning to head to Cancun with the boys!!! Words cannot describe how excited we all are. I don't mean to rub it in your face, but I do have good reasons to be excited.

1) It is snowing here, and nothing is better than going to a beach when it is snowing where you live!

2) The boys are at an age where we can have a great family vacation, and not worry about "little" kid stuff.

3) Matt has been working like a dog and could really use time away from the job.

4) We have had one crazy, sad and stressful year. Not all of it was bad, but it was very tiring and hectic. We built a house, sold a house, moved twice, finished the basement and dad died. Needless to say, this vacation couldn't come at a better time.

Have a great week. I know we will!! The forecast is in the low to mid 80's! 

PS- I am still undecided about facebook. I have thought of another downer: people who read my blog who don't have a facebook account miss out on everything. Somehow that just doesn't seem right. Although I am not convinced I have more than 5 readers anyway!!

Facebook Or Not?

For My Dear Friend Shannon!!! :)

Happy 2009! Hope the new year and my first post in 2009 finds everyone well.

So I have a serious discussion I want participation in.

The subject: Facebook
Issue at hand: I have never been interested in Facebook. I cannot understand why grown adults have a Facebook account. I always thought it was for teenagers. However, I have realized that most of my adult friends have an account. Blogging used to be the thing that everyone used to stay in touch with people from the past and present. Now, I am gathering that facebook is the new blogging. What is so great about Facebook? Why should I give in to my stand and get an account? 

1)One of my issues, which I know will seem ridiculous, is when Matt had an account, I didn't like that anyone from his past could chat with him, email him, and all of that communication stuff without me knowing. Now let me clarify...Matt always told me. There was never anything wrong with it, but is just rubbed me wrong.

2) Another issue is that I am not sure I want just anyone from my past getting in touch with me. I know, I sound rude and stuck up, but there are some people in my past that I would prefer to leave in the past.

3) One more issue is that I feel like it becomes this number clicker that tells you how many friends you have. Why do I need to know how many friends I have? Why does everyone else get to know how many friends I have? Who cares how many "friends" I have? Are they really "friends"? Are people so insecure they have to have a big network of friends, who really aren't friends, but mere "people from their past"? 

So convince me or support me. I just don't get it.  But I have lots of "friends" who want me to join. I don't know...I am not convinced just yet.

'Tis The Season

Can you believe Christmas Eve is one week from tomorrow? Are you done shopping? Have you made Christmas cookies yet?

We had a big Christmas party Saturday night, which was a lot of fun, but a lot of work. We went shopping Monday to finish up with our gifts. I now have the green light to make a few cookies, wrap the gifts, watch a movie or two, and try to relax. I am not planning on baking a ton of cookies. I am not making any fancy meals over the holiday week. I am going to try to relax and enjoy the time instead of working constantly.

I love Christmas. I love sitting by the tree and watching the lights. And thanks to my MIL (thanks Margie!) my decorations really look nice and have been taken to the next level. I have not written a Christmas letter this year, yet. I am thinking it might be a New Year's letter. If you have a new address since last year, please email me and let me know what it is.

Merry Christmas everyone! Remember to enjoy the season. Take time to rest, rejuvenate and enjoy.

Let It Snow

We had a very nice, relaxing Thanksgiving Day. The weekend ended up being very nice and relaxing. We took the boys to a hockey game Saturday night. I went out early on Friday and shopped. I actually waited in line, outside in the COLD, for 1 hour 15 minutes to get my hubby his Xmas gift. Then Jake and I went back out and got a few more things. Yesterday we woke up to massive snow. This was kind of surprising, as major snow was not in the forecast at all. We had gotten a few snow showers throughout the weekend, but nothing major. It continued snowing all day. Matt used the snowblower at least 2 times, if not 3. It was gorgeous and definitely made it feel like the holidays are near!

I thought about all of you on Thanksgiving. One of the things I am thankful for is all of our friends. We might not see or talk to you all very often, but you mean the world to us and we think of you often. I hope you all had a great holiday as well. Now it is time to gear up for Christmas! YEA!! I love Christmas. Matt got the lights up outside this weekend. We got the tree up inside. As one of my favorite songs goes..."It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!! I know we are a few days off, but I also know most of you won't be reading blogs on Thanksgiving. I am starting to make some food today. I can't believe it is here already. This year has really flown by. I am believing that 2009 is not as hectic and crazy for our family.

What are you all doing for the big day? We are having some family over and just having a nice meal. Nothing over the top. Nothing fancy. But it will be nice to be together. We will put a puzzle together, watch some football and just relax. As the holidays are approaching I realize I have been thinking about dad a lot. It is sad, but I have been thinking about the good time with him, the funny stories, his loud obnoxious laugh and voice, and I smile. He would want us smiling and enjoying this time of year. I knew it would be hard about now, and it is harder than normal, but overall I am doing better than I thought I would be.

I have been reading the Black Friday shopping lists and am planning my attack on that morning. There is something about shopping at the crack of dawn. There is an excitement. There is adrenaline. I love it. I don't have too much to get, so I am not out all day, just for a few hours. I always go by myself. No one ever wants to join me.

I pray you all have a blessed day on Thursday. Enjoy those you are with, those you love. Think of everyone you are not with. We will be thinking of all of you. We love you! Happy Thanksgiving.

Christmas is around the corner!!

I am still struggling to realize that in a week or two I will need to decorate the house for Christmas. Time has flown by, this last year. Why does it seem like time moves faster the older you get? The weather has been really nice here, so yesterday many neighbors were getting their Christmas lights up outside. We are headed for that this upcoming weekend. It should still be nice. It sure beats putting up lights in 20 degree weather with snow and sleet.

I have started my shopping. I love online shopping. I get a lot of things online each year. I also save several things and Matt and I take a day and finish up. The hard thing about waiting to shop is that sometimes you can wait too long and then you are out of luck. It is a balancing act, between me (the organize/early shopper) and Matt (the love to wait until the last minute shopper).

The basement is almost done. Praise God! We still have a lot of small things, but we are getting closer.

Matt was selected to the school board. He is excited about that. Hoping to help and make a difference.

Planning the Thanksgiving meal. Trying not to make it too boring...:)

My birthday is Wednesday. I have been sad the last few days thinking about my dad. I realized that this will be my first birthday, ever, that I haven't talked to my dad. The last few I was able to spend with him. I was told I would have moments that would be harder. This is one of them.

That's about it.

Happy Birthday to my Honey!

November 11th, 1973, a baby was born.

November 11th, 2008, he is the love of my life!

Happy 35th to Matt...the man I love with, laugh with, share with, smile with, understand with.

I could not imagine my life without him. Today I thank him and celebrate him.

This is the 17th birthday I will be celebrating with him. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I love you honey. Have an amazing day! Happy birthday!

Prayers Needed - Again

2 months ago we were preparing to lose my dad. We knew it was just a matter of days, 2 to be exact. We got through it. I think we handled things very well, and seemed to be able to stay strong. Yesterday we were dealt another blow. Life just doesn't seem fair, and my family (my brother and sister-in-law included) is getting tired.

Mark and Teri are expecting their first child in March. We are all so excited, as we weren't sure they would ever want to have children. We went to Mexico with them in June, and when we got back they got pregnant! We were all so thrilled. Teri's pregnancy would make any woman jealous. No sickness, a little bit of tiredness, but that is about it. She has been the over-cautious new mom to be, no caffeine, no alcohol, watching what she eats...Wednesday they went in for an ultrasound to find out what they were having. We were all so excited to find out. Mark sent me a text 15 minutes after the ultrasound began - " It's a boy!". 30 minutes later I got another text - " Are you home? We are coming over. It's not good news."

To make a long story short, they lost their baby. I went with them Thursday morning to a specialist, who confirmed that the baby's skull did not form fully. A big portion of his brain is outside of his head. He does not have a chance to survive. If he did live he would be a vegetable. The portion of his brain that is out involves his sight, cognitive skills, and it could be more as the pregnancy progressed. Mark and Teri were faced with one of the hardest decisions anyone could have. I spent yesterday with them. I cried with them. I grieved with them. Teri is distraught, and rightly so. They can have another baby, with the chances of this happening again slim to none. 6 months is the length of time to wait before they try again. But that doesn't take away the hurt and pain right now for them.

Please pray for them. Outside of Matt and the boys, there is no one I love more. They are our best friends, on top of being our family. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, let alone my baby brother. They know the Lord, but their relationship with Him is not close and strong. I know, with 100% of my being, that this horrible situation is going to draw them closer to Him, if they are open. I am pretty sure they are. God is the great comforter. God will provide them with peace. God will heal their hearts. God is God.

Life is too busy!

I was shocked when I realized that it has been almost a full month since I last posted!! WOW!! Time has flown by. We have been swamped!

Here is a quick run down of the last month for the Barrett Family:

1) We went through dad's things and sorted them out. We took what we wanted. It felt okay.
2) Jake had his first school dance. He originally said he was just going to eat pizza and hang out with his friends. He ran in the house afterwards, said he LOVED it, and he even danced. His recommendation was to not eat pizza and drink soda right before they do the jump dance, where everyone is jumping. I have to say, this has pushed Matt and I to a new place in parenting.
3) Tyler went to Disney World with Matt's mom. He had a blast.
4) Jake went to Omaha to spend the weekend with Matt's dad. He had fun at the zoo and the water park.
5) Matt and I have been in the throws of finishing the basement. He has worked like a dog!! The good news is that it is drywalled, painted, carpet is in, doors and trim are up. The boys are excited to get into their rooms. There is a little left to finish, but not too much more. Matt's deadline he gave himself was Halloween. He should be right on schedule. Impressive. Matt has totally impressed me with this basement project. He has worked relentlessly. He has done a great job. He hasn't been too grumpy, even though he has been exhausted. The basement looks great! The electrical and plumbing are working great and seem to be set up nicely.
6) We just started making Christmas lists last night after dinner. Can you believe it is about 2 months away?
7) Matt is running for school board. We will find out in about 2 weeks.
8) I won a chili cook off contest at the school. The funny thing is, I forgot it was a contest. I just knew I was taking in a crock pot of chili for the teachers for their work day. Next thing I know, I was the winner!! That made my day. But kudos have to go to my mother in law, since it is her recipe!

I am wanting to start blogging more. Don't know if that will actually happen. Once the basement is done I have a lot to unpack and organize. But my goal is to be much better than once a month.

Homesick

The last 3 weeks have been really interesting. Losing my dad was so hard, on one hand, and on the other hand, not as hard as I would have thought. Now that things have calmed down, I find myself thinking of him a lot. I think the song "Homesick" by Mercy Me sums it up. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

HOMESICK by Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

John Klever

Most of you know that my dad has been ill, for almost 2 years, with cancer. It started out being diagnosed as lymphoma, and was then diagnosed as pancreatic cancer as well. He basically had 2 kinds of cancer at the same time. He was expected to live 3-6 months. He really hasn't felt well for the duration of his illness, but he did have better moments than others. 

Tuesday, September 2 at 6:12am, my dad took his last breath. My stepmom, Barb, brother Mark, and I were all by his side. 

I will post more next week, when I have time to think. But I did want you all to know that he is now whole and healthy in heaven. Pain is no longer part of his life. Sadly, he is no longer part of ours, here on this earth.

I am doing okay right now. I am not sure that reality has hit yet, but I know it will. 

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support.

Vandalism + Dad= STRESS

It has been a while, and in that time things have been rather hectic and stressful.

The boys are in the swing of school and doing well. There were a few adjustments to be made, but I think we are headed in the right direction. They are also dipping their hand in sports, with Jake doing a cross country club and Tyler doing flag football. I have to admit that being so busy during the week is not my favorite thing, but it will all end at the beginning of October, so it's really only a month-6 weeks of chaos!

The new house is almost done. We close on it 1 week from tomorrow. We were out there this weekend and discovered the inside vandalized with motor oil all over the walls and carpet. Come to find out, there were 6 houses total and we got lucky that our issues are not worse. They are working really hard to finish it up. We were supposed to have our final walk on Friday, but due to carpet getting installed, we now have it Monday morning. We are so close I can almost taste it.

Monday morning my dad went into the hospital. He is very, very ill again. They went in and put in another stent in his bile duct, but that procedure allowed the dr. to look and make a more accurate diagnosis. That diagnosis is that the cancer is spreading and growing fast. It has more than doubled in the last 7 weeks. He said he has a few weeks to maybe a couple of months, but it is over. The cancer has won. Dad will not make it. The question is how long will he be here. And of course, we don't have that answer. I have been able to realize that feeling you hear about, where family simply releases their loved one and tells them it's okay to go.  I am at the place where I am at peace with this. He is so sick and if he doesn't improve enough to have a few good days, then I pray this is quick for him.

This week has been rather stressful, as you can see. I woke up this morning with the start of a cold. Normally this would be a simple annoyance, but right now this is major, as I cannot go be with dad if I am sick. So I am headed out to buy Zicam.

While dad has fought for 19 months now, and his death is not a "surprise" necessarily, this has been a hard week for me and my brother Mark.  With death so close, it is sometimes overwhelming. I am just thankful that when he goes, I know where he is going- into the arms of Jesus. He will be whole. He will be happy. The sad thing is that he won't be here to be those things with us. 

I will keep you all posted. Thank you for your prayers.