One Year

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. I cannot believe it has been a year already. The reality is that life does go on after we lose someone, whether we like it or not. It has been a strange couple of days for me. My emotions were almost higher than they were a year ago. I think part of it is because a year ago there was a lot of "commotion" with him dying, planning a funeral, etc.. This year, there is nothing going on but memories and quiet time to think and reflect.

I miss him so much. Even though I know he is in "a better place", the selfish side of me doesn't care and wants him back here. Being practical, I realize this isn't going to happen, and I know he wouldn't choose it if he could. He was content with dying. He was at peace.

No parent is perfect, dad included. But I love him. I have my memories of him, and I can smile through the tears. We had a lot of good times, mixed in with the not-so-great times. I started praying right after he died that God would bring back to my memories the good times we had, so I could quit thinking about the last 2 years of his life. As always, God answers prayers.

So today I celebrate my dad. I woke up and watched the sunrise this morning, thankful for him, for what we had, for where he is now, for the memories, all the while sad and missing my dad. I love him and miss him, and will forever.