Wednesday, March 26, 2008

No news- other than a boy turns 6!

We have made it 1/2 through the first week of spring break. That's right- they get 2 weeks, not 1. We also made it through the big day yesterday, of Tyler turning 6. He had one friend over, we went to lunch, bowled, had ice cream and then they played. Nothing over the top, but he loved every minute of it. We have a rule in our house, every other year they can have a bigger party, and on the off year they can have something smaller, with a friend or two. It seems to have worked out well. They understand it and never seem to mind. Enough with all of these parents who end up spending hundred of $$ on the birthday party alone, not to mention the gifts.

Nothing new on the house. Still waiting on ours to sell, but that's about it. They break ground on the new house in a few weeks. We get to go to the design studio in a few weeks. That will be very fun, at least I think it will. I told Matt we could do a test experiment and have people vote on the different choices we have to put in the house, and see what kind of house our family and friends would pick for us. Then I realized I might have 5 readers, so it probably isn't worth it. I think the DYI channel does something like this, called Blog Cabin.

Matt leaves Monday for Washington DC. He goes every year, and really enjoys it. So it is mom and the boys for the week. We will do some fun things, and I will work some, for the sanity! :)

For some reason I am simply shocked that it is almost April! Times seems to go by so quickly. We are 6 weeks away from going on a work trip to Durango, just Matt and I. We are 2 months out from heading to Puerto Vallarta for 5 days! That also means the boys are out of school in 2 months. Then we head into summer. Where does the time go?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Battle of the Mind

I have spent the last week working around the clock to get our house on the market. Cleaning, reorganizing, painting...and now it's on the market. We have already had 2 showings, with one a good possibility.

I said in my previous post that God has always blessed us when it comes to real estate. We have almost doubled our down payment, by making money from the sale of previous homes. Selling houses is an easy thing for us to do, since we have done it too many times to count!

So I found myself today fighting off thoughts that were of no good to me. Thoughts of "what if it doesn't sell?" and others like that. The good news is that I caught myself. The ridiculous thing is that I was having them at all. Maybe I could have that thought in 4 months if we have no offers or showings, but now? All of this, even after we showed the house twice when it was only on the market 1 day. One of the showings put us on their short list.

So my question today is why the mind is so hard to control? Why, when I am firm in my faith and belief that God will provide and take care of it all, do I find myself having absurd thoughts? When I really think about it, I truly do not doubt God and His power. I know He is my provider. I believe in tithing, sowing and reaping, faith...so why do these thoughts come? How do I stop them?

A side note: my husband is swamped. But as soon as he has time, we will get the new blog up and going about the house. Until then you can read here for any updates. It will be 4 weeks before they start digging. We don't get to go to the design studio for a month, so things will be pretty quiet regarding the house for a while. But I will post more...I have a boy turning 6, 2 weeks of spring break coming up...stories for sure!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Decision at Last!

It has been almost a month, to the day, that we went and looked at home to build. The area we looked at is called Banning Lewis Ranch. You can actually go to their website and check it out for yourselves. It took forever to get the appraisal scheduled. It took even longer to get it back and then make a decision...

There are so many things to think about. We have never built a house before. Ranch style homes are very different for me. The school for the boys weighed heavily on us. The major issues about the house we are in now are very real, and there is nothing we can do to fix them. Increasing our mortgage a little bit is a little nerve wracking. Signing a contract to build with our current house not being sold is very scary.

So....we signed papers today to go ahead and build!!! We are both excited about it. The boys are more excited than we are! We met the general for the house, nice guy. We will go in to the design studio in the next week or two and pick all of the "things" out for the house. That will be a lot of fun. We have a time frame of November 12th, at the latest. It could easily be sooner, depending on weather. It is definitely not a done deal, as our contract with the builder is contingent upon our current house selling. I am not worried at all. God has always blessed us when it comes to houses. But, if it doesn't sell by a certain time, they do have the right to cancel the contract, we get our earnest money back, and all is good.

We will be getting the new blog up and running. It will become a joint effort between Matt and I. I will be doing most of the writing and he will be doing links, pictures, all of the technical stuff I have no clue how to do. You can join us for this journey!

The big decision right now is this:
We will have a stone on one of the walkways in the neighborhood since we are building in the first phase. We get to pick what we want it to say. We have 2 lines, with 20 characters on each. Any suggestions? I am thinking:

Grin and "Barrett"
Matt, Deann and Boys

Please give us your thoughts. We really have no idea.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Crazy busy!!

Will life ever seem to slow down? My life has been crazy lately. The weeks have gone by so fast I thought yesterday was Monday!! ?? We don't have a lot of news on the house situation. We will by next week. We have had our house appraised, to see if we can get what we need to get out of it. We have the lot reserved for the new house. By this time next week I should have a good post with the latest news-to build or not to build.

I am now a mother of a 10 year old!! AHH!! Jake turned 10 on Monday the 25th. Matt's parents came for a few days for his birthday. He had a sleepover with 3 friends and went bowling. They seemed to have had a good time. It is amazing how life changes. The issues we now have with Jake are attitude issues, which I am thinking will be the issues for the next 8 years. The little kid issues are really leaving. Talking to him is so much fun. Spending time with him is getting to be more fun for us, as adults. It is also nice with both boys in school, as it allows Matt and I to spend more time with his parents when they are in town visiting.

My new business "The Shoebox Accountant" is off to an amazing start. I went to meet with my first potential client, who wants to use my 20 hours a week, exclusively. Works for me, since I was only wanting around 2o hours or so. He is willing to work with me, so I can work from home for a majority of those hours. I know I can help him out, which is a great feeling.

The latest on my dad is that the lymphoma is back. The pancreatic cancer has not diminished in size with the chemo, but has just changed shape. He has made the decision he is done with chemo treatments, which I support. He is going to do a alternative form of homeopathic medicine, but it is a magnetic machine??? Not too clear on the details of it yet, but that is the route he has chosen. His quality of life has not been good, so he is foregoing standard chemo to see if he can at least get some quality of life back, even if it is short-lived. As always, I will keep you updated on him. I am sure the next few months will be very telling.

Have a great weekend. I look forward to sharing the latest house news with you. So be sure to check back next week.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

To build or not to build- that is the question!

When we bought the house we are in right now we thought we would never move. We always say that, and we always move, usually after we do some sort of amazing project in the house that we love. Once again, we are faced with this decision.

There is a new "community" being built just a few miles from us. It is in Phase 1, which is always the cheapest phase to build in. In this neighborhood there is a huge pool/rec center, gorgeous facilities for outdoor and indoor entertaining, amazing parks and the best part is it has a charter school the kids would go to, which is the top in the city. I actually tried to get the boys in last year, but there was a wait list so they didn't make it. They are on the list again for this upcoming school year, but we haven't heard when we will know.

We found a house that we love! It has almost all of the things we are wanting. The problems we have with this house now are solved with the new house, like Matt having a "shop". We would build it, so we could pick out the things we want and tailor it more to our style. We can do it and barely raise our mortgage payment.

The problems: we have to sell our house. I know it will sell. I think we can get our money out of it without losing money. They will start building right away without waiting for our house to sell. What if our house sells right away and we have no place to live for 4-5 months? What if the house gets done and we haven't sold our current house? Is it worth the risk to lose the $3000 earnest money? Is it worth max $100 more a month on the mortgage to get the house we want, in the neighborhood we want, with the boys at the best school in the city?

If we do it, I told Matt we should make the house building experience our blog, so you all can follow along. I will keep you posted.

Please feel free to weigh in. All opinions welcome! And if I don't like yours I will just take it off the comment section! :)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Updates

I realize I don't regularly blog much anymore. For one thing, I don't have much time to do it. The other thing is that I don't have much to say. So our lives go on daily, with nothing new, which is just great for me!!

I did think it might be a good idea to update everyone on our life, so here it goes:

My dad: he is still doing chemo, which seems to be shrinking the tumors but also is weakening him and killing his bone marrow. This past year has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster that seemed to have stalled my life for a while. So I made the decision in November that until we are at the end, I have to continue on with my life the way I would if he was healthy. I just hit a wall and couldn't keep putting my heart and emotions and life out there anymore, like I had been. And I think he is trying to live life to the fullest while he is still living. The cancer will kill him. We just don't know when. He could be here 1 month-5 years. Who knows! But know I will always keep you informed of any major changes. I feel like we have been crying wolf for a few months, coming very close to losing him, and now he is doing better. I guess that is the nature of the beast.

The family: The boys are great and back in school! Jake is counting down until he turns 10 a month from tomorrow. They are playing a lot of wii! One day, when I can get my husbands help, I will post the video from Christmas morning when they opened it. It is sure to make you laugh! Matt and I are great as well. We have only skied once this year, but are planning a few more days with the boys soon. We are both still exercising and losing weight. He still likes his job and I am getting ready to wet my feet in some small business bookkeeping.

Christmas: We had a great Christmas day! Never mind my youngest son was up almost the whole night. I got to bed at 4:30am, when I knew he was finally asleep. He went to bed at 9 and was up at midnight and pretty much up until about 4:30. UGH!! My dad and Barb came over, along with my brother and sis-in-law. Later in the day my mom came over. A lot of family, but a nice day. We flew out to Matt's parents the next morning, EARLY, to see them. We had a nice time, but I don't think I would want to do that every year. Or maybe go on the 27th instead of the 26th. We came home to a Christmas mess that I didn't have time to get cleaned before we left!! :) But it was okay and worth it to see them. The boys have always been close to them.

I think that is it. Nothing new. It is weird how, after 2 years of being out here, it feels like we are finally fully settled in. I feel like I can breath again.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tyler's Book

One day I am going to write a book about all of the hilarious and sweet things my youngest son says. There is something about a cute little blond boy saying things that said by anyone else could make you cry! :)

About a month ago Matt and I were going out to dinner. I came downstairs, hair and makeup done, dressed up. You have to realize that during the week I am not "made up" as much, since working out has become my daily routine. So when I got to the kitchen Matt says something to the effect of how nice I look. Tyler then says, " Mom, you are prettier than an elephant in a chicken suit!"

This morning I went downstairs to get Tyler breakfast. As I was sitting at the table eating my cereal with him, my hair still bedhead, he looks up at me and says, " Mom, you are really pretty, in a messed up way!"

Friday, December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas!


Merry Christmas!! Happy Holidays!!



From the Barrett house to your home, we wish you a very merry Christmas and a most prosperous 2008! Enjoy your family, friends, health and well-being this holiday season. We treasure all of you, whether you are family or friends. And we pray God's best for you this season. Be safe and healthy.

We will be home for Christmas day to spend it with my dad. Then we head out to Lake of the Ozarks on the 26th-31st to see Matt's parents. Home just in time to ring in 2008! And no better place to do that than the place we have called home and loved for 2 years now!

If you missed the mass email or don't visit Matt's blog, we also have a video Christmas card for you to enjoy! Just go to www.mbbarrett.blogspot.com.

Again, have a blessed holiday season! And remember why we really celebrate!

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Making a list and checking it twice!

Well, we are one step closer to it being Christmas. I love Christmas. I have my list of things to do and it is getting smaller, which is a good thing.

Making Christmas cookies - DONE
Christmas cards in the mail- DONE
Christmas shopping complete- DONE
Toys bought for the Angel tree- DONE
All parties for the season- DONE
Grocery shopping for food for the big day and night before- DONE
Having snow for a white Christmas- DONE


What is left:
wrapping presents
cookie trays to neighbors
Jake's Christmas concert
both boys' holiday school parties

So I am thrilled that what is left is the fun things. I love to put in a Christmas movie and wrap presents. I think I have it worked out to where I can just take the next 10 days and be home to enjoy the holidays. I am so glad I got things done early.

Enjoy the holidays! And all that goes with them!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The Best Christmas Present

What is the best Christmas gift of all? I am sure everyone has their own opinion on this topic. World peace is always a standard, no more sickness (I can relate to this because of dad), and many others. But I wanted to take a moment and share with you what I believe is one of the best gifts of 2007!



Our friends Shannon and Adam in Oklahoma have been in the adoption process for almost 10 months. They have a little girl in Guatemala, Analise, waiting for all of the processes to be done so she can come home with her mommy and daddy. Shannon has been to Guatemala once and got to spend time with Analise. Adam has never seen her in person, UNTIL NOW!!!

They just heard yesterday that they are all approved and get to go pick her up on the 11th!!! A week from now, Analise will be home, in Oklahoma with her mommy and daddy! What a long process this has been for Adam and Shannon. But Shannon's faith in the Lord to be in control of this process has been a testimony to me and lots of others. She never doubted that God was in control, had His hand in this and would be faithful to them.

So I cannot think of a more special couple to have such a wonderful Christmas present. Being able to be mom and dad to this special little girl, after waiting for so long to become parents. God is so good!! Congrats Adam and Shannon! You deserve this happiness. And MERRY CHRISTMAS EARLY!!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Do I Have Your Address???

I know it seems early, but I am getting ready to write, print and address my Christmas cards. Now that postage is so high, it can be frustrating to get a card back due to an incorrect address. So this is my plea to all of you: could you please email me or Matt with your latest address? Matt has suggested just making the Christmas letter and picture available online on our blogs, but I think that is a bit impersonal. I want to keep up the Christmas card and letter tradition, but do not want to be sending them to the wrong addresses. So PLEASE let us know your current address, or where I should send your card.

We are on the countdown to Christmas. The movie Santa Claus was on tonight on Disney, which really made me start to get into the Christmas mood. Tyler wants to decorate the tree tomorrow, which is NOT happening since it is not even up. I have a good portion of my shopping done. My mom and I have already started talking about a day of baking. The neighbors were putting up their Christmas lights this afternoon in the nice weather. It is close.

So please help me out. And start getting ready!!!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Happy Birthday to Matt!!

Sunday, November 11th is Matt's 34th birthday.

It is hard to believe we started dating when he was 17! That means we have now been together for 1/2 of his life. WOW! This will be my 17th birthday celebration with him.

His celebration won't be any big deal, because he never wants it to be. We will hit the golf course, I will make a carrot cake that only he and Tyler will eat (that's the joy of it being your birthday, you can pick whatever cake you want no matter how many people like it) and we will give him his presents. Once you have kids there has to be at least a mini-celebration.

So happy birthday honey. You deserve a wonderful birthday for being such a great dad and hubby. You work so hard. You take such good care of us.

Happy birthday my love!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Christmas and Snow

Sunday morning we woke to our first snow of the season. It was fluffy not deep but more than a dusting. Tyler could not figure out why we were going to church since it was snowing. So we loaded into the van and listened to Christmas music on the way to Walmart to pick out the boys' pumpkins to carve for Halloween.

I have never cared much for Halloween. But Christmas is a whole different ball game. I love it! I love the decorations. I love the feel everywhere. I love shopping. I love giving gifts to people. I love spending time with family. I love the music. I love sitting by the tree at night with no other lights on but the tree lights, drinking hot coco and snuggling up to my honey. I just love it.

So I have started my list of things to purchase in the next 2 months. I already have a good start for the boys, but am not done. It is a hard balance for Matt and I, since I like to shop EARLY and he loves the thrill of shopping on the 23rd, or better yet the 24th.

The first snow always puts me in the mood for the holidays. I cannot believe they are almost here, already. It seems like we just put everything away from last year. But I am gearing up and getting ready. And remember, Christmas is 2 months from this Thursday! So get your lists ready and let the shopping begin!!!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Big News!

I just had to blog about my youngest son. He just learned an important milestone in life last night. I wish I had taken a picture to show you, but I didn't. Sorry.

Last night I went outside to see my youngest son Tyler riding his bike, all by himself with no training wheels!! The smile on his face said it all. We have tried off and on to work with him, with no results. So last night something clicked and off he went. I think he feels like he is finally a "big boy". He is thrilled he can ride with Jake and the other neighbor kids and not have to tag along way behind on his scooter.

Another few things:
1) showed me yesterday at a park that he can now do the monkey bars
2) asked me the other night, "Mommy, if you died would daddy get a new girl?"
3) told me this afternoon that going down the driveway and hitting a bump on his bike was a "nutcracker", which I later informed him (after I went inside and laughed my head off) that we should not call his "parts" "nuts".

My question is why I am always the one to have to deal with everything? Where is Matt when I need him? So the best is when I called Matt to tell him about the "nutcracker", to which he says "that is awesome!" Maybe there is a reason I deal with it all!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

How do I give this a title?

In the last few weeks life has been crazy, hectic, busy...but I am still here, smiling most days, appreciating life.

My dad got out of the hospital last Tuesday night. At 8pm, Matt and I and Mark and Teri went over to dad's house for a "meeting". The good news was that dad was feeling well enough to go home. The stent they put in his liver was working, so the immediate threat due to the failing liver was over.

The bad news: the biopsy showed that the remaining cancer is pancreatic cancer which had metastasized to other areas. There areas are not confirmed, but doctors think it has spread to the liver, adrenal gland and around his aorta. One doctor gave him 6-12 months. Another doctor told him if he got 6 good months he would be a blessed man.

While I have thought since January that this whole situation really wasn't good, for some reason I had a hard time with this news. It was finally real. And now the process begins of helping him live life and then helping him let go when the time comes. He specifically asked us if we could do those two things. And while logic says "yes", it was very hard to process.

I am very sad, for multiple reasons. How do you say goodbye to someone you love, forever? How do I prepare my heart to let him go? How will life be without knowing I can pick up the phone to call him? How weird will it be on my birthday not to hear from him? Or any of the holidays? Will my boys remember him? Will he be scared to die? The list goes on.

The one thing I can always count on and rest in is that God is with me. The joy of the Lord is my strength. He is the best comforter there is. He brings me peace when I feel none. And the best news of all is that I do know my dad will be in heaven when it's his time. And while that is not necessarily comforting right now, I know it will be at the right time.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

updates

I must say that the last week of my life has not been fun. When I think about it all I am surprised at how we handle stress. So here was my last week in bullet points:

* Last Thursday I had 2 wisdom teeth out. That went great, no problems.

* Friday my dad takes a turn for the worse. He really starts not feeling well. His liver seems to be slowly shutting down.

* Saturday I head over to dad's house. I walked out on his deck to say hi, as he is sitting in the sun due to his jaundice, and am literally shocked at how he looks. He looked like he was 75 and about to die! WOW! While I am there hanging out, the reality of him dying hits me- HARD! I have been keeping a realistic outcome since January about him, but for some reason this day I could barely handle it. I had emotions I didn't know I would have. I will post another day about those. So while I am there I start feeling like I am getting a fever, which prompts me to leave.

* The next 3 days I am home in bed with a fever, shivering, every ounce of my body aching to the point that I can barely walk.

* Tuesday went over and hung out with dad in the afternoon. He had a procedure done on Monday, so I thought I would go spend time with him. I left at 2pm, by 5'ish he was going downhill fast. By 8pm he was in the ER with his blood pressure 70/40 and in horrible pain.

*Thursday I had one kid home due to no 1/2 day kindergarten. The other came home with the flu by 9:30 that morning. I had one of the worst headaches I have ever had, which sent me to the chiropractor 2 times in one day. I cooked a bunch of Mexican food for a get together Matt was having Friday night at our house for one of the classes he is teaching.

* Friday I met with my trainer. We did weigh in and measurements. It has been 3 1/2 weeks since we started meeting. I lost 10 lbs and 1 1/2 inches off of my waist and hips! I also got another awful headache. Matt had 10 freshman over for dinner.

* Dad is still in the hospital. Everything is taking a turn for the worse. More and more problems are occurring. I honestly don't know if he will get out. I am heading there this afternoon.

* We have our church life group here tomorrow night. The boys leave Monday to go be with Matt's parents for a week. The timing really couldn't be more perfect for them to be gone. It will free me up to see dad as much as I want, and will also give me some time to try and rest and recuperate.

Thanks for listening. I am believing that next week will be better. Maybe not all aspects, but there are some I could do without. Dad will still be sick, but I don't have to be. Have a good weekend!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Taking a Break

Things in my life have been unpredictable and busy. I am not sure if I will be blogging much anymore, or at least for a while.

Things with Matt and the boys are great. The boys are loving school and are getting ready for their fall break in a week. They are flying to join Matt's parents for a week, which they will love!

I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday. Surprisingly I have had very little to no pain at all. Other than repeating myself 5 times about my IV on the way home and not remembering hardly anything, things went great.

The real reason the blogging may be sporatic is that my dad is not doing well and I am not sure how much longer he will be with us. Things since July have been iffy with no help from any doctors. He has gone downhill this week, rapidly. His liver is not working and the cancer is still around the heart and the pancreas and growing. His heart is so weak they don't think they could do anymore chemo if they knew what to do. So right now things aren't looking good at all and I have a feeling that the next few weeks will be busy with him. I will try to keep you updated on him, or at least have Matt keep you updated. We will know around noon today if he is going to be hospitalized today.

We would appreciate your prayers. My prayers lately have been for honesty from the doctors, even if it is not good news, and that his pain can be managed so no matter how long he lives he is not miserable.

Processing the thought of losing a parent is different and new to me. I don't feel like it has truly hit me yet, but I am sure it will. Thank you all for your support, love and prayers.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

One Week Down!

Well, I have survived my first week of training with my trainer, working out 6 days of the week, changing how I eat, and drinking more water than I ever imagined. I actually was surprised at how good I felt 24 hours after my first workout with Steve. I truly had anticipated crawling around on my hands and knees the day after and I was in pretty good shape. Sure I felt like I had worked out, but nothing horrible.

So I met with Steve again today. WOW! First of all, I made the comment that I should be able to handle my session better today b/c I have been doing cardio all week. He then reminds me that he wants it always to push me and that he will just have to push me harder. HUH? He trained me hard, I was more sweaty than I care to be, and then went over my food for the week. Let me just say I did well, really well. Let us all remember that I am paying Steve to work me hard and hold me accountable. I was trying to remember that when he questioned why I ate 1/4 cup of m&m's when I was hundreds of calories shy of my daily calorie goal, instead of making better food choices to fill those calories. SMILE! He had a point, and b/c he wasn't my husband I couldn't roll my eyes and ignore him. So I left and realized I was a hazard on the road b/c my arms could barely stay on the steering wheel due to muscle exhaustion! YIKES!

In all seriousness, Steve is a great guy who is doing his job. He keeps showing me I can be pushed more than I ever thought. Matt is in Denver this week on business. He is staying at a hotel, eating out daily....can't wait until he meets up with Steve Thursday night!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Oh My!

So I just walked in the door from my first workout with my new trainer Steve. He truly is a nice guy. But I honestly don't know if I have ever worked out so hard in my life. And the most amazing thing is that I did no cardio! By the end of our session he said he could see it in my eyes I was nearing the end, I felt slightly sick and light headed. No pain, no gain??!?

What I found amazing was I knew when I was doing certain things, that if I would have been on my own or with Matt, I would have quit. But with Steve looking over me I dug deep and found my inner strength to finish up, all the while my body was screaming "NO!! QUIT!!" But I am too strong willed and proud to look like a wimp on my first day. So I made it. I did all of the exercises and weights, and then on my own did an additional 25 minutes of cardio. And now that I have a clear head, I am proud I did it I am amazed that I did it, and then I laugh that I am paying for this!

I was nervous and a little scared to go today. My perception is that others would see me and think all sorts of things. Then I realized a few things:
1) Most people look at me working out and are glad I am doing something about it.
2) If they think awful things, I don't know it, so what do I care?
3) My trainer thinks it's awesome I am working hard towards my goals.
4) My family supports me 100%
5) It's really about me and no one else.
6) It seems that every aspect of my life is better when my diet and exercise are in control.

I am excited about this new part of my life. Even if I can't walk or move my arms tomorrow!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Steve's My Man

Don't worry, I am still happily married to Matt!! :)

But today I met a new man who is going to help me change my life. Steve.

Steve is my new personal trainer. I just spent and hour with him. He is kind, knowledgeable, driven...and he plans on kicking my hind end into shape. The funny thing is that when I signed Matt and I up for personal training sessions, I told the guys there to give Matt someone who will really work him HARD. Steve. I thought it was great when they were telling me stories about Steve and how hard he works people. Perfect for Matt, I thought. But the joke was on me, because not only is Steve training Matt, but he is my trainer as well.

In all seriousness, even though losing weight and getting into shape seems like something I should be able to do on my own, I am just not getting it done. Someone told me today I should not feel guilty about it, if in the end I achieve my goals. So I am not feeling guilty and Steve is going to work for his money! Already he has shown me a lot of things, and we didn't even have a "real" session. He took measurements, weight, body fat (that is fun!) and then told me very confidently that if I am serious about this that I can accomplish my goals. Sometime it is good to have someone who isn't related to you tell you you can do it.

I will keep everyone updated on my progress. I just wish the sessions weren't so expensive. I would use him until I met my goals. But even if he gives me a good start, it is better than where I am at! So here is to the start of my new journey to the new me!!